arianagroks

I have it on pretty good authority that this week’s performances were actually pre-recorded, a practice idol has used in the past probably to make sure they stay on time. However, I can’t say I’m totally against this since I think that at least that way we don’t have the awkward rushing through the last contestant’s critiques after having to endure the craziness that was Paula Abdul, who managed to squeeze melons, fortune cookies, and moths into the same sentence (true story). Side note: am I the only one who is thrilled she and Kara DioGuardi are gone and replaced by the much more articulate Jennifer Lopez?

Anyway, the contestants this night were asked to sing a song by someone who inspired them as an artist. Jimmy Iovine and his team of producers surfaced to quasi-mentor the contestants, which made me anticipate these performances –  so let’s get to it!

Lauren Alaina
“Any Man of Mine” by Shania Twain

Lauren Alaina opens the night with a substandard song

To start things off, Lauren chose this bouncy country tune by Shania Twain, which I thought was cute, but didn’t get me all excited. I mean, she could have chosen a song like “Landslide” (the Dixie Chicks version) or “This Ones For the Girls” (Martina McBride) which I think connect with more people on a personal level than this song, IMHO. However, I was hoping that the magic of the producers would make this song more Lauren and less “drunk in a country bar line dancing.” I actually really enjoyed her voice in the song, but the energy level seemed pretty low which I’m chalking up to nerves. All in all, adorable, but not earth shattering.
Judges: Steven, J.Lo, and Randy all agreed that she didn’t step it up enough. But you know what, kudos for Lauren for pulling a Kellie Pickler, and for holding it together because I’m pretty sure I would faint.

Casey Abrams
“With A Little Help From My Friends” the Joe Cocker version
I love that Casey chose this song, especially since I couldn’t predict how he would sound wrapped up in this bouncy, uplifting number (as opposed to the smoky, soulful performances he’s laid on us to date). It made me a little wistful for the days of David Cook and Adam Lambert, who would rearrange any song to fit their style. From the opening bars, I could see he wore the song just fine, and I forgot how gravely this could sound with the right voice. His little dog howl somewhere in the middle brought goosebumps on my arms, as did the rest of his runs and improvisations. Casey is just so in his moments when he’s singing that it’s hard not to feel the moment with him.
Judges: J.Lo said she felt his performance, Randy said he was unbelievable and exciting, and Steven tried to take crazy Abdul’s crown and call him a “rainbow of talent” with a “plethora of talent.”

Ashthon Jones
“When You Tell me That You Love Me” by Diana Ross
Ashton reminds me of your friend Karen’s obnoxious six-year old who has been told that they are the most special little girl in the whole world: the ‘tude to talent ratio is waaaaaaaay off. Additionally, she chose a Diana Ross song immediately after the judges told her last week that she should, which reeks of desperation. Therefore, I was completely unsurprised by her utter failure to deliver a moment, and even more pissed that the judges wasted their wildcard pick on such an unpromising contestant. They could have at least allowed us another week to see Kendra give it a shot. Ashton started out pretty weak, and the whole thing was so old-fashioned I was waiting for a disco ball to fall from the ceiling at any moment.
Judges: Randy called it safe but good, Steven thought there was a lot more in there she was holding back, J.Lo said something about song choices, but I think she was just trying to avoid saying it sucked.

Paul McDonald
“Come Pick Me Up” by Ryan Adams

Paul McDonald goes all gawky

Having never heard this song before, I was looking forward to hearing something fresh on the idol stage (and I wasn’t talking about his military-inspired jacket). It started a little shaky with his small, breathy sound and then there wasn’t much past that either because I felt like the song was eating him alive, and we were all watching the feeding frenzy. His gawky dance moves and wonky smile were about the only things that saved him since it made you want to smile, but the singing was not that great.
Judges: Steven thought the rasp was great and threw out the night’s first “pitchy” comment, J.Lo noted how he was able to capture the audience, Randy hoped America would get it.

Pia Toscano
“All By Myself” the Celine Dion version
I loved that Pia wore glasses and a ponytail to her interview – she’s so pretty that sometimes it’s nice to see her just hanging out. Anyway,  I know that Pia killed it on the The Pretenders “I’ll Stand By You” last week, but that doesn’t mean you can start disregarding the rules of idoldom. For one, you can’t do Mariah, Celine, or Aretha without completely paling in comparison. Take note: Asia’h Epperson, Latoya London, Gina Glocksen, and Jasmine Trias have all covered this song. Didn’t recognize any of their names? That’s because none of them really put their mark on the map covering power ballads of the 90s. However, I’m going to have to say that Pia probably gave this song the best effort of anyone in AI history. My ONLY disappointment was that she couldn’t quite the glory note in the middle for longer than a few seconds – and after that moment she lost a little of her momentum – but snaps to Pia, she laid it all out there.
Judges: J.Lo thought she topped last week (I agree), Randy pointed out that I forgot Whitney but that he thought Pia rose to the occasion, and Steven thought she slammed it.

James Durbin
“Maybe I’m Amazed” by Paul McCartney
Is it just me, or was anyone else expecting an Axl Rose song? Despite that, I was extremely excited to hear the beat that James’

James Durbin debuts his new look

producer put together for him, and even more so that Jimmy Iovine actually looked jazzed about hearing James perform. I haven’t exactly been a huge fan of James, but I feel like I witnessed a huge moment of growth for him – he looked so much more mature, and he really showcased his whole range beyond that crazy ass screech. Okay, touche. I’m a fan. And p.s. I’m also a fan of your new look.
Judges: Randy thought he slayed it, Steven thought he did a great job, J.Lo thought his melodic quality was amazing.

Haley Reinhart
“Blue” by LeAnn Rimes
Kudos for Haley choosing what I think is one of the most underrated songs in the idol-verse. I was getting some weird vibes from Haley working with her producers, like there was tension, but I suppose that’s only normal when you’re gearing up to perform in front of millions of people. Technically, Haley was completely outstanding – her voice and affectations were spot on. I just wish we could have heard more of her in there, especially since she completely killed the whole song.
Judges: Steven thought it was beautiful, J.Lo thought Haley showed off how vocally diverse she was, and Randy started with his signature laugh which is never good. Case in point, he thought it was boring. I wanted to jump through the TV and tell Haley to quit making excuses and stick to her guns – it was good!

Jacob Lusk
“I Believe I Can Fly” by R.Kelly
No surprise that Jacob chose this song, which was well within his range and emotive qualities. As he started the song, I was a little worried because he didn’t quite resolve his notes and the melody was all twisted and turned around, which made me unable to catch the familiar hook in the song. But I thought he grabbed it back with his up and down note that seemed to last forever. Seriously, I was sitting watching and thinking “oh this is no bueno” one moment, and the next my arms lit up with goosebumps.
Judges: Steven said good a million times, J.Lo said she felt so much when he sang, Randy thought Jacob had a real signature sound despite losing the song in the B verse.

Thia Megia
“Smile” the Michael Jackson version
Oh how I knew ahead of time that we would hear one of the judges say something like “you need to act your age” or some derivation, and I wasn’t disappointed when Randy pointed that out. I tend to agree though, since I think Thia risks falling into obscurity if she can’t put a stamp on her sound. You don’t have to be precocious, but you do have to be memorable. The whole thing was technically beautiful, but as soon as that backbeat kicked in, it was like we were listening to elevator music. Though I have to say that since biker-short-gate, she’s kicked up her fashion game quite a bit – I really really loved her dress.
Judges: Randy thought the best part of the song was the beginning (agreed again) and not so much the end, Steven agreed (the pitchy comment paraded on through), J.Lo didn’t like the arrangement and commented that she would like to see her move more.

Stefano Langone
“Lately” by Stevie Wonder
After last week’s powerful performance the pressure was on for Stefano, who stepped out on a risky limb with a Stevie Wonder song, whose voice is so distinct that it can be tough to find your way among his melismatic style of singing. I was a little nervous for him when he hit that first bum note, and then the second, but thank goodness the beat kicked in and he finally got to some of his glory notes, because the in between notes were awful. I’m pretty sure he lost some of the words somewhere in there, but I fet like he pulled it off pretty well, all things aside.
Judges: Steven really liked it (rowr??), J.Lo thought that the dance remix was hot, and Randy started in with stutter laugh (we know what the means) and then commented that Stefano found his place in the middle.

Karen Rodriguez
“I Could Fall In Love” by Selena

Karen, don't quit your day job - p.s. I know her head looks huge.

What a shocker that Karen chose to do this song by the late Selena but honestly I really felt like out of all the contestants, she meant it that Selena was her idol. She started with a few bum notes and her outfit totally threw me off because it was so outlandish, so it took me a moment to really listen to the song, which sounded like a carbon-copy of the original, albeit with a karaoke-esque vibe. By the end, I felt like I was in a coma.
Judges: J.Lo started with an Abdul “you look great” suger coat to make her critique go down a little easier, Randy said he felt like Karen was fighting the song and it sounded sleepy, and Steven said her energy was lacking.

Scotty McCreery
“The River” by Garth Brooks
Okay so it was completely adorable that Scotty shouted out to his baseball team, and I can only imagine that even if he totally bombed he’s still be okay just on sheer charm. I mean, are we being serious with that fucking baby cowboy picture?? Yes, America let’s just ignore the singing for a moment and admit that Scotty boy is totes adorbs. TOTES. Okay, so he did sing a song, and it was good, especially since he sang out of the side of his mouth like

Scotty McCreery as a baby. Just when you thought he couldn't get any cuter.

country singers do (they do that right?). Let’s hope he never sings “She Thinks My Tractor’s Sexy”- someone may have to call the National Guard to account for all the fainting.
Judges: Randy thought it wasn’t broke so Scotty boy shouldn’t fix it, Steven quoted some lyrics that I didn’t get but said he was riding high (wtf??), J.Lo made a comment about how great he was with his performance aspects. p.s. why wasn’t Scotty allowed to play guitar?

Naima Adedapo
“Umbrella” by Rihanna
Did Naima learn nothing from the Ta-tynisa train wreck “Only Girl In the World?” You don’t do Rihanna! DAMN IT!  I was hoping that she at least did a slowed down version, but even then it would be hard to make it her own, given that everyone from Mandy Moore, The  Plain White Tees, Train, and Taylor Swift have covered this song. I like that she didn’t try to do a predictable cover, but I thought it was all super-standard up until she hit the reggae-rap break (which was the most original thing we saw all night). She ran out of breath in the middle, but KUDOS for trying to dance and actually perform. A for effort, and then some.
Judges: Steven thought she was crazy good despite being pitchy, J.Lo loved it but noted she needed to have control, Randy started again with the stutter laugh saying that the pitchy-ness was too much for him but that he loved the reggae flavor too.

All in all, I’ll have to say that tonight was kind of up and down. Based on the performances, I think that Lauren Alaina, Ashton Jones, and Paul McDonald are going to be in danger. If there is a god, Ashton will go home.

Some additional notes:

- Ryan Seacrest was totally on his game tonight. The improvised dance party with Paul was adorable and self-depreciating at the same time. Mayhaps Julianne Hough is having a positive influence on our once-snippy host?
- Karen should not be a designer. Ever.
- Not one obnoxious petticoat sighting! Hooray!
- Thumbelina astutely pointed out that Scotty’s voice sounded a little like Ray, the firefly from the Princess and the Frog.
- Steven Tyler wins for the most creative/obscure comments.

Until tomorrow, good night!